Category Archives: Fatherhood

Leading Like Jesus Christ

Leadership…. thousands of books, articles…. thousands of seminars every year try to teach men what is leadership….

Leadership is at once the easiest thing to define and the hardest thing to do…. as I see it…. it requires a degree of honesty and integrity to such a degree that the leader is an outlier… someone who is off the charts…. because they lead by showing….

Jesus walked at the lead of the disciples hundreds… probably thousands of miles…  in fact he did not ask them to do this he just did it and they followed. …

Jesus taught his disciples to pray by praying… by worshipping his Father in Heaven…  He taught them to pray through the harsh watches of the night… because he did it they did it… Jesus asked Peter to step out of the boat and have faith that he could walk on water…. Peter was successful until he let his faith grow weak…. but he would likely never have done it had Jesus not been already walking on water…

Jesus taught them that the gospel is for all mankind by visiting with, eating with and staying with the lowest of the low in a town… he showed his disciples that we should care for the poor because he cared for the poor….

Jesus taught mercy by showing it… when Mary Magdalene was brought before him to be judged and stoned…. Jesus stood with her …. the perfect example of courage in holding back a mob with his sheer personal force… then he taught forgiveness by asking where are your accusers…. when she said she did not know, he told her then neither to I condemn you… Go and sin no more…

Jesus taught love by giving it… in the Sermon on the Mount, the most beautiful of Christs teachings we find him telling us how to treat each other, then we see him doing what he says by saying… let the little children come unto me…  

Jesus taught love and care for our physical well-being by feeding the people who had come miraculously… He taught that the body must also be fed as well as the soul because he did it.. he fed the thousands there from a few fish and a little bread…

Finally the greatest example was his willingness to give his life on the cross…. He paid the ultimate penalty for us… and in that example he tells us what we are to do for each other…  to love others as much as we love ourselves…

If Fathers would just show, instead of lecturing,  do the hard things instead of berating his children, not drink so his kids wont drink, not do drugs so his kids won’t do drugs and be able to and do everything that he asks especially his sons to do; then young men would be far less lost than they are today. 

If we would just imitate Jesus Christ…. the simply show what a Christian life is in love and friendship we would attract more people and youth to Jesus Christ because what we have as Christians will intrigue them… Then our opportunity will come to become men who are

Leading like Jesus Christ. 

The primary example is Jesus Christ… he was the leader of leaders, the king of kings,  lord of lords… because he was the personification not only of God but of Men… of fathers…. of leaders…

Jesus Christ was so tender and loving in his leadership… and in that he was more powerful than any leader who ever has existed or ever will exist.. His was always the first step as well as the initiating example…  He really did just a few things that are the most powerful principals in leadership. 

He, unflinchingly did the hard things that he asked the disciples to do.   He never asked his disciples to do anything he would not do himself…. He prayed longer… he was up earlier in prayer before the sun…. His step each day was the initiating step… he was the first one starting on the journey each day… He just asked his men to do what he did….  there is so much power in that.  The disciples realized that what he asked of them he would co and could do.  A leader who will not do what his followers are asked to do is doomed to be discovered as the fraud he is.  The school principal who never teachers, the field commander who stays back in the rear issuing commands, the factory supervisor who never comes out of the air conditioning onto the shop floor where it is hot, dirty and unsafe….  all these are not leaders but frauds who ask others to do that which they will not do…

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The Power Of a Godly Father in His Son’s Life

I’ve been thinking more about the Redmond video I posted yesterday.   I have to feel that every part of that video is an analogy illustrating something good in the relationship of a father and his son in a very broad sense.  As I go through my work with young people, young men, as a youth pastor, teacher, mentor….. I see so much anger….so many boys who have just gone off the rails… in every case there was no man in the boy’s life…

No father… no mentors…. no role models… no leaders…. no one….

Abandoned kids… abandoned boys…. adrift, angry, like rogues… I recall a fascinating story about a problem in Africa with young bull elephants….

If a young male elephant is raised without a bull elephant around… it seems to lose control… it goes wild…. roaming through the country side with other young rogue adolescent elephants destroying everything in their path… essentially gangs… they are led by their testosterone at its worst…. power without direction…. power unchanneled. 

Apparently, the solution is to capture the crazed adolescent then put it in with fully grown bulls, larger, more powerful, experienced…   so the story goes the bulls will get the young elephant between them just holding it until it calms down… that will be repeated when it gets out of control… nothing horrible… no goring… no damage… the other bulls just restrain the adolescent until it calms enough to follow their example…

Could it be…. possible … that young human males are at least analogous to young elephants…. that without the leadership of a strong father…. they… go wild?    Can a young man become so lost without the example of a father that he strikes out at everything?  I think so. 

I am watching the little league world series… the coaches are miked… what they say to a kid on the field can be heard by millions of people…. a young boy is pitching…. obviously nervous…. not settled…. like a young colt… unsure… frightened….

His coach walks calmly out to the mound, signalling time out as he does… the boy simply stands waiting… the first words out of the coaches mouth are “you are doing great”…. the boy stands with his head down turning the ball…listening to his coach as the coach praises his skill, his character…. as the coach tells him how proud he is of the young pitcher… he gives him a hint about pitching… the camera angle changes… the slight smile on the boys face is visible… his coach pats him on the shoulder and says “you are the best, have fun, just have fun”….  as the coach turns and walks away the boy wipes his sleeve across his eyes… takes a deep breath… stands up straight and strikes out the next two batters….  And I think… it is that simple…  

Derek Redmond was seemingly alone when he started his race for the gold at the 92 Olympics…. but he wasn’t alone… the entire lifetime his father had spent with him was there… in his entire being…. the tenacity his father had taught him….probably just by example…. was with him… but most important…. his father actually was with him…. an appropriate distance away because his son had gone on his way as the Bible teaches that young men must do…. but his father was watching…

Derek had obviously been taught independence… determination… character… because when his father did see he needed help… he came to his side… and when he did…. he said “you don’t have to do this”… but Derek said… “Yes, I do”…..

What happened next… he gave his son just the help he needed… he kept the people who would stop him away… he just removed the stumbling blocks from his path… and he gave him support when he needed it…. but then something even more important happened….

When they approached the finish line Derek’s father let him go…. he released him to let his injured son finish the race by himself….

Derek’s father was being the perfect Biblical example of a father… he had trained Derek up in the way he should go… Derek had already proven that when he said “Yes, I do”…. Derek’s father then allowed his son to be the man he wanted to be by finishing the race alone.  His father could have gone over the finish line with his son…

but he knew something about young men…. they need dignity… they need to feel both supported but strong enough to do it themselves…. and at every opportunity a Godly father will let his son have the responsibility he needs to grow into the man he wants and needs to be…. so that he can carry that responsibility… that sense or ability and confidence into his work life…. his relationship with a woman…. he relationship with other men…. and to be an exemplary father to his own children….

The power of a Godly father in his sons’ life was shown in that simple video…. the power to direct strength…. to teach responsiblity… to teach courage… tenacity… to teach all the traits men need to make it through life… and something else was obvious to me…. though I could not see or hear it… I’m betting that at some point in that run with his father Derek heard the words “I love you son”. ….. “I am proud of you”…  just as I am sure he heard them throughout his life… 

Those all important words… I know… will be repeated to Derek Redmond’s own sons and daughters… as he leads them by the example his father used to lead him.