Just more thankfulness

for cool mornings with fog making the air so still

for small towns where people talk to you on the sidewalk

for time to rest to get your fill of restorative sleep

for the motivation to learn something new each day

for the desire to be drawn closer to Jesus Christ

for good food

for the internet

for computers

for technology of all types that connects our world to other Christian worlds

for the students I teach at school

for the courage to meet them each day

for challenging students who teach me how to reach them

for home school kids who are outrageously independent

for parents who have the courage to home school.

for tutors who care

for volunteers who care

for doctors

for health care that is the best in the world.

for the laughter of running boys

for the giggles of girls playing games

for backwaters where alligators float

for beautiful trapped oxbows that form lakes

for beautiful rivers. 

for quiet in the house

for the knowledge that anything can be done a little at the time

I am thankful for forgiveness

How do we live without forgiveness… how can we maintain communication with our savior without giving the forgiveness we have received.  Let us all freely forgive as we have been forgiven…not just because we don’t want to be judged as we judge others, but because we want to do it in true imitation of Jesus Christ. 

In forgiving others we find ourselves closer to Him.  In forgiving others we can heal the deepest wounds. 

Father help me to continue to grow a forgiving heart.   Help me to forgive not just because I don’t want to be judged as I judge others but because I do it in imitation of you. 

Your adopted son… John

The creation of wonder…

My Grandmothers embroidery

I remember sitting around the heater in her living room on cold winter nights.. no television, no radio… no sound until someone found something worth saying… how much do kids miss these days… My grandmother – Mamaw as we called her –  sat quietly in here place on her couch…nimble fingers weaving, knitting beautiful things as she taught us all with beautiful words…  soon she would fold her work… silently pick up her worn bible that she had read through seven times… She read to us a verse that came to her heart… then taught us its meaning… prayer…. then we talked…often of those who were already gone… of he mysteries of life… of her experiences… of the wagon trip to get to this place… how my grandfather cut every log for the house…  the fire is warm protecting us from the frozen world outside… and we learned…. and we learned love… and we learned to wonder…

And we learned to wonder at the sky and the clouds, the stars and the Heavens...

I would run into the farm house in the middle of the green fields when I saw a beautiful cloud.   MaMaw would stop what ever she was doing to come look with me… “Oh, isn’t that beautiful”  she would say.. And we would stand there in wonder… I a mere boy… my grandmother a woman who had seen so much, worked so hard… but who would stand with me staring into the sky …. teaching me to wonder….

I learned to take joy in all things

I remember standing on the front porch with my mother when it would be raining, thundering and lightning… she was terrified of lightening… But she wanted me to be filled with wonder… not with terror… She wanted me to wonder at the mystery… at the power… so she held me beside her telling me a story… of God… when a new bolt of lightening would strike and the thunder would roll she would say as she trembled “see God is moving furniture… that was a big piece of furniture wasn’t it”…  what a beautiful thing to teach a child beauty from a place of your own terror… when you can barely stand still… but you want to give your child a gift.. the creation of wonder…

Today, I love storms… I wonder at the lightning… I marvel at the thunder…

I came to wonder at the art of my grandmother… that fingers could fly so fast creating… just out of whole cloth… and I slowly came to understand that I could do the same in my art… music… now teaching… now photography…

and I learned to wonder at the creation… to look up into the sky to think why… why do clouds form… why does the light change from moment to moment in the storm…

I learned wonder… I learned it from my mother out of her terror of storms… from my grandmother out of her devotion to life… and family… and God…

And as this true teaching was done with me so I was given an incomparable gift…

The creation of wonder….

Thankfulness and grace

I turn into the driveway…. all is dark, quiet… the world at peace…. I turn off the engine…. silence

No sound of war… or of crying… no sound of gunfire… of violence… of death…   I look at my home… now going on 15 years being my home…  and I love it… and I am thankful for it… it is there before me in the peace of night…

And I think of the grace that allows me to have it…  the phrase that goes through my mind on this Thanksgiving eve is how did I come to this home… this life… all the blessings in the last year when it seemed that I would sink below the waves at any moment… that a hand reached out to me every last-minute… often unexpected… every time unasked… but a hand came. 

Tomorrow I will feast… too well… in the warmth of family, in love, in joy… what did I do to deserve this wonderful life… a home, more than enough, wonderful and meaningful work, a soft bed, warmth when I need it, cool when I need it… in a moment I will open the door and a little bird will screech its welcome… a loving, devoted dog will jump with joy…

There will be music if I want it…. silence if I want it…. sound if I want it… water when I want it… food when I want it… presently because life continues as it does… with life… and with death… I will be alone for a time… the one I took care of for so long is gone… out of pain, out of sadness… living in a home God created for her where she is living in perfect joy… 

But there are others… a loving family around the world… electrons away from me…  all I must do to hear their voices is cause electrons to move along wires… invisible signals through the air… and they are with me… 

Good friends invite me to join their family celebrations… members of my family call me to come offer thanks with them… I am not alone… I am surrounded with love… with friendship… with caring… so I will be with my family because I need to be with them… what a blessing to be able to choose between offerings from those who love me…

Then I have been given two great churches in which to worship and to serve… to minister… one small… one large… one in the country… one in the city…  both places where I meet God… Both places of great joy and friendship…

When I drove into my driveway… I was 30 minutes from the place I have been given by grace to work… where I have friends I have known for greater than half my life with whom I work… with whom I teach….

The building in which I work is new… state of the art really…  and I think of something else….

That I am one who has in a world where so many have not…. so many will not lie down on soft bedding tonight… millions will not be able to eat their fill… more than there fill tomorrow… millions who could not walk in a miracle where we have ever kind of food to choose from brought from every part of the world… 

And I have to ask why?   ….   Why was I born here in this most magnificent of countries?… Why was I born to the parents I was given?  …. Why do I have friends who are actually friends, who care, who would mourn, who did mourn with me a year ago when my mother slipped away into eternity with the Lord…

Why was I born here and named John?   Why was I not born in another country to parents who would beat me, where I would not have had enough to eat, not enough water to drink, nothing to learn or to hope for and named John?

I was given grace.. it was amazing grace… I was given all of this… why?  Just so I can be thankful?  Just so I can celebrate as across the world 18 children will die each minute as I will laugh tomorrow with my family….

And I think that I was given this so that I could give it away…  to those who are given much, much is expected… 

Father am I giving much as I have been given much… As I give Thanks am I pleasing you?  Do I love my neighbor as myself?   Do I really?  Will you be able to say to me “Well done my good and faithful servant”?  Will you say it?  Will I deserve it?   Oh, Father why am I not the child in the pictures with the swollen stomach whose equally weak mother brushes away flies from my near lifeless eyes….

So how do I thank you father?  Do I thank you in eating myself so full I must rest?  Am I honoring you?  And are there ways I can still honor you?  Father, what can I do? 

When I thank you for the food I will eat tomorrow will I be really pleasing you Father?  Will you look down on us and say well done? 

Oh Father in this season that starts tomorrow help me find some way each day to help someone…  so I can thank you for the opportunity… help me to feed the hungry… help me to clothe the naked…. help me find homes for the homeless…. Help me to find a way each day to do something that will help someone…. to love them as I love myself… for in that is true Thanksgiving…. giving with thanks for what we have been given.  

I lay here on the couch with the little dog laying on my chest feeling so blessed but also feeling that I have been given much and so I must give much… as I’ve done before to find that there was great joy in giving freely and without reservation.  

Please dear Father give me a thankful heart filled with

thankfulness and grace…..

Realizations and reality

growing…continuously….forever…. marvels… blessings upon blessings

076  for the realization that I just can’t do it by myself, it is impossible…  I need Jesus…

077  for the realization that everything I have had, that I have, that I will have comes from Him…

078  for the realization that I can still learn and change my convictions when they no longer work…

079 for the realization that there is good and there is evil…

080 for the realization that there is a time for everything…

081 for the realization that I have been given the courage to do what I thought I couldn’t…

082 for the realization that I can learn that what once worked no longer works and that it is time to change…

083 for the realization that I can fall as flat on my face as I ever could and that knowing that is good…

084 for the realization that God has given me the wisdom and the strength to pick myself up

085 for the realization that I am on the right side…

086 for the realization that truly good people are always there…

087 for the realization that I have the strength to do what I need to do…

088 for the realization that there is wisdom in children…

089 for the realization that sometimes the kindest thing is the hardest to do…

090 for the realization that I have it in me to do the kindest thing…

091 for the realization that I chose the right career…

092 for the realization that there is true grace…

093 for the realization that there is true forgiveness

094 for the realization that we can all respond to needs so great that they seem impossible…

095 for the reality that there is pleasure in the cool breezes of the evening…

096 for the reality that there is God’s time…

097 for the reality that we are only human…

098 for the reality that we can never be perfect but that every time we reach for perfection we reach for holiness…

099 for the reality that God’s glory is expressed in kindness…

100 for the reality that God’s glory is expressed in justice…

101 for the reality that to get up and try yet again can be holy…

102 for the reality that in great struggle there can be great holiness…

103 for the reality that in the things we do every day there is holiness…

104 for the reality that you can always run back to God…

if we are wise we can learn from the young as well as the old, the weak as well as they strong… and today I learned or maybe I was reminded of something from a young person… there are times when the best thing you can do with a hurt is to walk away from it…that the best thing you can do with anger is to turn your back on it…that the best thing you can do with wrong is to turn it over to a higher power……

today I am thankful that I made a decision that was right in a situation that could have gone very wrong… I am so thankful for a young person who had the grace, the wisdom and the courage to do what could not have been done when I was a child even though it was right…. courage appears sometimes when you least expect it…dignity comes sometimes from a young person who has maturity beyond their years….

Today was a beautiful day for me because I saw once again the good that can be done when a human being acts on their best inner voice rather than their worst instincts.  And for that I thank God….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quiet Fall Days in teaching…

This is one of those quietly beautiful days.  The kids were calm and so was their teacher.  We were just enjoying a day of oddly relaxed instruction and testing. No real pressure today.  A quiet wonderful day in the life….. I will count these blessings  later, the last entries in essay form.  But today I will list….

For kids who arent afraid to ask questions

For administrators who help you without being asked

For kids who rise to the defense of others

For kids who care that the boy in the next seat is not well.

For awaking to a little black dog “kneading” your chest to be fed.

For wonderful mexican food… God is certainly  a lover of good food.

For a young man waiting tables who takes extra care, thinking ahead if  you need something.

For  a truck that always starts

For leaving home in the bright and glorious morning

For sinus medication and a good doctor. 

for truely good and supportive friends at school.

For a beautiful drive home through forests and by a beautiful lake in a state park

For floating flowers

For kids who try on hard tests..:)

For a young girl who is just one of the kindest kids I know.

For a beautiful building in which to work

For all new science equipment at school

For an administration who ordered it even before I knew I needed it.

For lunch ladies who  are kind to our kids and who love them.

For an assistant principal who truly cares about his kids.

For freedom to teach the curriculum in freedom

For honest kids who care to return things.

For elementary teachers who work miracles in ways I could never do.

For a beautiful home in a safe neighborhood

For sleep which I apparently need now because my typing and spelling are shot.  (edited at this point)

Good night and God Bless

Of love, family, friends and for those I love so well…

I sit here in my study doing something that seems to me to be absurd…. I am trying to think of those things for which I am thankful.    Why am I reaching so hard….why is nothing coming tonight…. I can’t have run out of blessings…

Blessings are eternal…they happen to us every minute of our lives….so I try one of my favorite ploys listening to music while I write… God is at work…

I go to my YouTube account where I have discovered the Kelly Family….Gaelic Folk and gospel singers….Catholic, but still gospel to my ears and heart…. and the song starts….  It is an anthem of worship to God, thankfulness for those things we sometimes forget… and adoration for Mary…

This is a simple family…now singing without their mother who died long ago of cancer, and their father who has also passed on.  And the song continues…..

“The Sky….the mountains….to the rivers… to the valley… to my hometown…to my country… to the place where I was born… to my mother…to my father…to my sisters…to my brothers… my friends…to myself and those I love so well….”

Where is the magnificence there?  Where is the transcendence?  This is thankful ness for the simple things we all take for granted… today I took some more pictures that are still on my camera phone… I will put them up soon… they are all of simple things just as this song sings of simple things that we “love so well”….

I realize that for a while I was caught in that human trap of looking for transcendent blessings in grand things… thats not really how God works… he blesses us with the small things.. the daily things…

“Give us our daily bread”… I have eaten my daily bread for which I am grateful.  Something simple… and so the song goes…  the first blessing named is “the sky”….  can the sky be a blessing…

Most certainly yes it is… protected as we are from the ravages of fierce solar radiation and winds coming off the sun that would kill us if it werent there…..provided with beauty that we fail all to often to look at for any length of time… Oh well, ho hum… it’s just the sky… may we never forget the miracle it is or that blue is a difficult color to find anywhere else in the universe….

Then comes “the mountains, to the rivers, to the valley”…our surroundings… the beauty we see everyday… whether it’s a small bush… a “burning bush”  as they all are we are told….or a grand tree… or mountains if we live near them.. they are all part of Gods immaculate plan for us.  We live in a pale imitation of Heaven, but it is an imitation of it.  And people at their best can be angels unaware…..

“To my hometown, to my country, to the place where I was born”  comes next… for me that is Houston, Texas where I was born in Memorial Hospital, now Hermann Memorial.    For the Hermann family who gave so much of their wealth to the building of a magnificent medical center where thousands upon thousands are healed every day….

Then the things that really are important in this world… “to my mother, and my father, to my sisters and my brothers, to my friends, to myself, and to those I love so well”….

To those I love so well…. not only my family, my friends, but also my students, the people with whom I work, the people I see everyday…the men at Lakewood Church, the kids at Lakewood church, the pastoral staff…..all of those are people for whom I am ever thankful… to the kids in my youth ministry… those boys from my youth ministry who carried my mother to her final resting place with such grace, gallantry and love….

And finally Mary, the Mother of Christ Jesus, and Jesus himself… God and Man being one… and his perfect gift to me…

So I say with Sancta Maria….. I am thankful for

The Sky

The Mountains

The Rivers

To the valleys,

To my hometown

to my country

and the place where I was born…..

And my mother, and my father, and my sisters, and my brothers, my friends and myself, and those I love so well….

And Mary the Mother of God, Jesus Christ himself  God and Man made one….  What better things to be thankful for this day….

Here is the song… listen to it with reverence and thankfulness….

For Fall and For the past…

A couple of days ago I took a short drive back into time….to places remembered….places loved…places that shaped part of me….

My Childhood Home

How do you say thank you for the place where you were loved by two of the best parents anyone could have had as a child….

A father who worked himself literally to death for me

A mother who held herself back so I could succeed…who let me leave home to learn to conduct orchestras…

A beautiful brown dog named dusty who was a chaser of ropes…. He was my companion from the fourth grade until I was in college… I was blessed to sleep outside in the yard with him during his last three days until I had the courage to help him in the way he needed help….

The friends who played dog and boy games with me… we spun a rope for him to chase until he fell exhausted… we boys would lay one our backs watching the sky spin above our heads….  to spun-drunk to stand up…

The family who lived there…the extended family who also called it home…to many to name…to loved to forget….how I miss the daily contact with them even though so many years have passed….

And I grew up….. 15, 16, 17, 18… my first job…. now a place in ruins… a pipe mill….

 

The Mill

 

A distant past

 

My uncle…a good, good man…. spoke a word for me…. word from a respected man among the men at the plant…

His word was good enough….and he job was mine…..

I swept floors…. counted sheets of steel bound for the Alaskan slopes….

Learned to weld a bit….  my uncle was a good teacher….

Learned to get up in the dark every day…. work overnight…. to appreciate being dirty…for it mean money…

Learned how to speak the language of men who wrestled 60 foot sheets of steel…

To live with grit….

And to make we want to go back to college….

And I drove on that day….

 

My Aunt and Uncles House

 And I saw another house that day…. My Aunt and Uncles House…  where I was also a loved child… who loved to be held in my Aunt Isabels lap… her tenderness…her love…. Where I followed my Uncle Orival out into his garage where he taught me the names of tools… where I bothered him with questions… which he always answered with great patience…. where he took time to show me what my own father would have shown me had he lived…  this was a house where I leaned to like tomato gravy…  where I acquired brothers even though I was a single… John, Jerry and Dennis… One left far too early… Jerry and Dennis are still my brothers… I helped them bury their parents…as they helped me bury mine… we are now the eldest generation…. we now try to carry on with the courage of our parents… who did the best they could do with what they had…which was very little….

And I drove on looking not for blessings but finding them any way….

Fall Grass

And I drove ….  enjoying the fall air…cool…fresh… fragrant…  passing the brown fall grass… noisy with the cacaphony of birds….thankful for the beauty of the seasons change….  soon to be Thanksgiving…then the celebration of our Lord’s birth.. Christmas….. And I continued to find things for which to be grateful…..

Colors of Fall

 

Blue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of wood, the land, and life….

 

 

 

 

 

trees

fourty…that we have been given everything we need in the Earth…fourty-one… trees that provide some of the air we breath out of one of God’s wonderful cycles that we can’t see…fourty-two… trees that become the shelter above our heads….fourty-three… for persimmon trees…one of the best and sweetest fruits

Persimmons growing

fourty-four… for opossums who also relish the persimmons of fall… and the little dogs who are so proud of themselves when they hold the ‘possum in the persimmon tree with their “big dog” barks…fourty-five… for Princess the treer of ‘possums…my twenty pound trembling watch dog…

stalker of 'possums

 fourty-two… wood, of so many beautiful varieties, that provide the family tables where our bodies and souls are nourished, where we learn, where we express our love to family and friends…fourty-three… for land, the land my grandparents worked, where much of who I am today was formed…where I learned to love the soil….fourty-four… for the soil that anchors our very lives… that connects us with God’s created light from the sun through our food….fourty-five…for remembered love….fourty-six… for the laughter of kids…fourty-seven… for silliness…fourty-eight…for early mornings….fourty-nine… for sunsets….

 

Thankfulness for Burning bushes… glorious light…

I came across this quotation tonight…

“Earth is crammed with heaven,
and every common bush afire with God;
but only he who sees takes off his shoes.
The rest sit around it and
Pluck blackberries.” ~Elizabeth Barret Browning

thirty-nine — burning bushes… for helping me remember to look for the fire in every bush, every person, every child I teach…every creation of  God is a container for the indwelling fire of the holiness of all the creation.  

 burning bushes… that I may better remember that in each child, regardless of their walk, is the holy fire of God.  Every child deserves to be regarded as the living receptical of the fire.

burning bushes… that I may look for them in every place, every rising and setting of the sun, every grace…

burning bushes… that I may know that every person I deal with in ministry contains the fingerprint of God…

burning bushes… please God that I may see the fire as I do my work of helping grow young people…that I may remember that when you breathed life into them at their conception… that what I say and do may ring down through their generations… that I remember the responsibility you have entrusted to me…

burning bushes… to remember that every moment has the potential for Holiness and the sacred if we will make it so… if we will just open our eyes…

burning bushes… to remember that the sacred is a mystery that we should hold in reverence… a flower that we should cultivate… a way that we should try to live… a sacred life…

burning bushes… that we would remember that the blackberries we do pick and eat come from the same source… that the energy they endow to our bodies comes from all your creation… the sun, the chemical processes that carry your signature as the blackberry bushes – aflame –  bathe in light and thereby create our food… that we would remember that we are all physically children of the light you spoke into existence… for our very being comes from light… Your created light. 

burning bushes… that our very DNA… your Signature… allows us to live off light… Holy energy… to burning bushes…to our bodies… to our spirits… the mystery of photosynthesis… that bodies can be made of light… that we are made of your light… that bushes do burn… so we may live physically, spiritually …

with your light…